Divine Romance

If you glanced at my last post, you probably got an idea of my heart for marriage and the wedding days that begin them! I may have a distinct personal style that I wish for my wedding one day, but the beauty that I see in every wedding is something much deeper than the perfect dress, perfect venue, perfect photos ...or even the "perfect" couple. While the concept of marriage is our clearest earthly picture of God's love for His church, the wedding day is, to me, the ultimate celebration of Christ's radiant Brides.

My favorite part of weddings is that moment that the crowd and the groom both hold their breath and see the bride for the first time: gasps of delight, tears of joy and wonder surround her, and she seems to glow unlike she ever has. Men don't spend hours of time and thousands of dollars searching for the right suit to wear on their wedding day. They just show up. Have you ever heard guests at a wedding whispering in excitement when they see the groom for the first time? ....Probably not. And that's because we don't celebrate our men for their beauty (their strength and devotion of heart, yes--but not their physical beauty and spirit). Women have a unique beauty to offer, and the picture of a bride in white on her wedding day is the pinnacle of this pure, angelic, soul-filled showcase of beauty.

Three Blondes and a Camera

As the bride begins her walk down the aisle to the man that has won her heart, all eyes are on her, and everyone is in awe of her beauty, no one else's. Perhaps for the first time in her life, she is fully exposed and shining, allowing everyone there to single-mindedly delight in her beauty and her joy, in her love and in her life. As she makes that walk down the aisle, it's as if she is taking the final steps in a long journey that God has destined to point towards the soul of a man with whom she will become one. Many brides are escorted on these final steps by their father--their earthly protector, up until this day. This isn't a practice done just to make sure the bride doesn't slip, or just out of mere tradition. As her daddy hands her over to her groom, it's as if he is passing the torch, allowing another man to step into the dance with his daughter and assume the leadership and protective role that he has played up until this moment. I hope and pray that men who are fathers will understand this kind of heavenly headship they have over their daughters' lives, and that they will not abuse or neglect these roles that are so essential in her development into womanhood. Because this walk together, arm in arm, begins long before her wedding day. And I hope and pray that any girl fortunate enough to be walked down the aisle (and through life) by her loving daddy will not take the special gift of that moment for granted, for one second. As the father finishes his walk with the daughter, her groom then removes her veil. The symbol that I see in this is the same as God the Father handing our salvation (and thus, our hearts) over to His Son, Christ-- who "broke the veil" and allowed us the ability to see and touch true love and true life, even on earth...much like a bride is now able to do with her husband, her beloved. Goodness, if that picture doesn't get the romantic in you stirring and giddy...! ;-)  You see, the rituals of weddings have a meaning that point to eternity.

I'm writing on the topic of marriage today only because I just listened to a lecture on it given by a man in my life I respect more than just about anyone: my professor, academic and thesis advisor, Dr. Sam Overstreet. Besides being brilliant (and that is not an exaggeration, folks), he is hands down the most humble, focused, and Biblically-wise man of God that I know. He's got that kind of quiet strength that commands your attention without a word; but when he does speak, you probably want to take notes! Tonight, Dr. Overstreet proposed the concept of marriage is similar to the construction of a home, beginning with the walls and foundation of forgiveness and fellowship.

Loving someone until death means having an abundant supply of forgiveness. It's heart-breaking that our culture today promotes love as a "feeling," rather than a choice. Forgiveness is unnecessary in these emotion-based, wavering, and fleeting relationships, because divorce or separation has become an option for our society that is often easier (yet more damaging) than the tough gift of forgiveness. Fellowship, the other wall of the house we build together as husband and wife, represents the communion of life that only fellow Christ-followers can share and build upon together: the shared theologies, opinions, experiences, and passions that are expressed in the hearts and lives of Believers. Without the base of these two fundaments, the house is sure to collapse. (Matthew 7:24-27).

The roof of this house is made up of the more superficial interests and friendship between two people. While they don't support the house itself, they allow the completion of the building process and differentiate one Christian man and woman from another. Finally, the trim and embellishments of this house are expressed through romance and passion. While the world tells us that this element is truly the basis of our relationships and marriages, the truth of the matter (in the words of Dr.O) is that the paint that gives flavor and excitement and even beauty to a house, is not enough to stand on its own. Build a house with paint, and you get a bubble that is going to eventually pop.

Dr. Overstreet began his lecture with a reminder that marriage is one of the most selfless and trying acts of faith for us as sinful beings. In fact, there aren't even that many examples of solid and faithful marriages that glorified God given in Scripture. That can sure be disheartening. In a world today where half of marriages end in divorce, I know I'm not the only one who questions whether "true love" and blessed marriages even actually exist. It sure is tough navigating the ocean of manhood/womanhood and intimacy as a 20-something-year-old today when we are surrounded by mass media and culture that welcome sexual promiscuity, unfaithfulness, and divorce, with open arms.  But as Dr. Overstreet proposed, perhaps a marriage that denies the self and rebels against the devastating lies about love, is one of the "greater things" that Christ was speaking of-- "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." (John 14:12). So consider it a treasure, and a gift, not a curse or hopeless cause, that we have the opportunity to share the unimaginable beauty, patience, humility, servanthood, love, and forgiveness of Christ our Lord through the legacy of marriage, in a society who is sure to stop dead in their tracks, in awe, when they see a marriage that is mirrored after the Gospel. And that, friend, is so worth celebrating.

jill thomas photography

xoxo. jlf