Things I try to control: the music in the car, group projects, the TV remote, my appearance, my future, my thoughts, my abilities and achievements, my competence...a.k.a. my pride (don't even think about asking for help to find something in the grocery store if you're with me!), other people's sin, other people's personalities, my relationships with these other people I love, who my God is, and what His plan for my life is.
"God has a plan for your life." So typical. But what does it really mean?
Translation: "If you make your plan reasonable, consistent, and righteous-looking, then He will support your plan, sit back, and watch it thrive...just so thankful that He has such a well-behaved and wise child following Him!"
I honestly have been believing this my entire life.
Are we listening to the Lord tell us His direction for us? Or are we writing our own script and asking Him to sign off on it, then believing we have his seal of approval when we aren't suddenly struck by lightning?
Could it be that we live in the crippling fear of loss and need to control because deep down we don't truly trust that God's plan is better than our own? It's gripping and exhausting, and ironically, the need to control controls me.
Are you following God, or are you trying to be Him?
Lord, teach us what true surrender looks like.
"If everything is Yours,
I'm letting it go....
It was never mine to hold."
[Audrey Assad]
You must get this entire album. I love her and just really want to be her best friend.
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